falling behind

I have been slacking on this blog thing. lol been BUUUUSSSYYYYY! lol had tests and studying and im trying to workout again because i gained hella weight over the past few months. Its hard to juggle everything and find time to get on here and write stuff. Plus its all pretty much the same old same old lol. Drama with friends happy with matt. lol school is dumb and i hat ethis language and i fall behind the rest of the class more and more each day. im studying as much as i can stand but since i hate the language its hard to devote much time to it. oh well. i have been hanging out with steffanie lately. she is an amazingly sweet and wonderful person who constantly brightens my day. We go places and talk girly stuff all the time. I love it =] She just got a new boyfriend so i hope we dont stop hanging out because of it. i really need someone fun to hang out with and she likes to just sit and not do anything in particular which is my most favorite activity lol.

Okay i have homework and i want to go to eat village tonight for open mic. NO! im not singing but my friends are and its a good walk there and i should get some excercise in today =] but i need to go to bed early tonight b/c i have a pt test tom and i dont want to be exausted tomorrow. Matty might be here tomorrow !!!!! either tom night or fri morning he said =D okay homeowrk time xoxoxo

been slackin

nothin much has been happening except drama. Aaron is ignoring me except when he rubs his new girlfriend in my face…her name is slutty mcslutterson….she is a cunt btw. I'm just done with this place and all the things that have been happening. And I can't be his friend because all i want to say is "HEY DUDE! You're screwing up your life!!!!" but he gets mad every single time i say that. So being his friend means being quiet and I can't do that very well. I wanna leave here now. I miss being a normal person and when i felt this need to pack up and move i could. I would.

Anyways matt will be here soon. I'm super excited! I can't wait to be around my one problem-free, drama-free person. He makes me happy, calm. He's gonna teach me to surf. =]

The beatles had it right...

I feel like everyone is just running around. They are all moving so fast. Everyone is scheming and planning "for the future". But they don't realize that what we have is right now. That now is good enough and if you could just let go for a few moments a day, you could be content with it. Maybe even happy for a moment. I get it. Your future is important, but your missing out on your youth. I want to have a nice house and a new car and make lots of money and have a happy family but I also feel it's important that by that point that I have lived a full and good life. To be able to say, I have been there, I have done that, I know how to handle this. I know when to move to the side because the shit is about to hit the fan. Everyone seems too close to realize that what they are doing isn't the best decision. They always need to be moving, be with someone, controlling the music and driving too fast, too close to another car. But what happens when the people are gone? What happens when the car breaks down? You have no one but yourself sometimes. And I'm afraid that my friends have never had to cope with the toughest of things in this world: being alone with only them and their own thoughts. Why can't people just let it be?