running

I need to figure out a better way to deal with my problems. But this way is so much easier. Had a really terrible couple of days. Couldn't talk to matt because he wouldnt pick up his phone and me quickly turning into an emotional wreck i sent him a fairly aggravated text along the lines of why do you pay for this is you never pick it up. I guess I called all those time to not talk to you. (I normally call once and if he doesnt pick up i leave it and move on. )But last night I sent him a few texts and called several times as a hint i really wanted to talk to him. So he called today and I vented my emotional garbage on him and stuff and then we are chatting on facebook and i start playing 21 questions but using it as a state of the union sorta thing. what do you like about me. what don't you. have i ever made you mad? have i ever made you frustrated? ect. pretty normal stuff but then he is like, there is something i want to talk to you about in person and im like ?....????????

so he was like dont worry! blah blahbljahdhjsd i love you ect its not bad. but im like wtf. you don't just say this to me and then not tell me whats up..... So my initial reaction is to breakup with him before he can leave me... i know this is wrong but i can't help it. I run.

I am a fast runner. 15:50 2 mile. Just sayin, i can be gone befr ehe knows anything was wrong.... terrible response to stress.... in othe rnews weighed myself...126! oh hell yeah!